Sunday, 6 December 2009
yesterday my ex called me selfish for the one millionth time. am i? i don't know. partly i think this is a cultural problem. he grew up in the former gdr and i in the states. he is constantly pushing my personal boundaries and using my stuff without asking. you think that's not so bad as long as he returns it, but i usually have to search for my stuff among his stuff when i need it and then it's either all used up or broken most of the time. so out of socialism and capitalism we have the everything is communal vs what i paid for is mine black hole.
when a topic is brought up and i try to relate a personal experience to it, i am accused of only thinking of myself. maybe. but as i see it, one can only really relate to anything from their own unique point of view. you can not totally see things as others see them no matter how hard you try. you can immerse yourself in their situation, but you have had different experiences from them and experience always colors your view of something. i meam i really try to be open and understand why people think and feel and form their opinions. i think i am fairly objective. but in the end, i am still me and i still have had my experiences and only truly understand that perspective. and these understandings are constantly evolving as i have new things to layer and expand what has happened previously.
or maybe that is not the question at all. maybe the question is one of oration vs one of dialogue. perhaps i am not supposed to say anything. i am only allowed to listen and agree. sometimes i try that and then i'm accused of not listening because i am not verbally responding.
whatever! so anyways, like i said he is my EX and that is the healthiest part of the relationship. and you read right. i said relationship. no, there are no kids. usually i leave a broken relationship and it's over and i can just get on with my life...kind of like it never happened. this time it's different. for several reasons, many of them being financial, we are forced to share our living space. so while i am for the foreseeable future likely to be called selfish up to 10 times a week, i thought i'd blog my selfish findings here in cyberspace where you might or might not give a monkey's, but at least i can tell someone besides my cats. because frankly they are getting a little bored when i don't bring them tuna.
when a topic is brought up and i try to relate a personal experience to it, i am accused of only thinking of myself. maybe. but as i see it, one can only really relate to anything from their own unique point of view. you can not totally see things as others see them no matter how hard you try. you can immerse yourself in their situation, but you have had different experiences from them and experience always colors your view of something. i meam i really try to be open and understand why people think and feel and form their opinions. i think i am fairly objective. but in the end, i am still me and i still have had my experiences and only truly understand that perspective. and these understandings are constantly evolving as i have new things to layer and expand what has happened previously.
or maybe that is not the question at all. maybe the question is one of oration vs one of dialogue. perhaps i am not supposed to say anything. i am only allowed to listen and agree. sometimes i try that and then i'm accused of not listening because i am not verbally responding.
whatever! so anyways, like i said he is my EX and that is the healthiest part of the relationship. and you read right. i said relationship. no, there are no kids. usually i leave a broken relationship and it's over and i can just get on with my life...kind of like it never happened. this time it's different. for several reasons, many of them being financial, we are forced to share our living space. so while i am for the foreseeable future likely to be called selfish up to 10 times a week, i thought i'd blog my selfish findings here in cyberspace where you might or might not give a monkey's, but at least i can tell someone besides my cats. because frankly they are getting a little bored when i don't bring them tuna.
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